Electronic Betty

I was feeling down
Nobody was around
A stranger in a town
Going out at night
To a local club
I could be who ever I liked

But I’m not that type of guy
I’m just absurdly shy
I’d would rather be all alone
Stay in at home, shakin’ my bone

Bored out of my mind
So I went on-line
Guess it sounds a bit tragic now
But I met this girl
At least she said she was
Well I believed her anyway…

We hit it off
She said “hard or soft?”
I said “I have to agree with you there…”
She said M-M-M
I said O-O-O
‘til there was nothing else left to type

She was into me all right
And her photograph was a sight
Wasn’t long before I was in love
If she’d had a body – I would of…

Electronic Betty
Her face is pixelated
Her spelling innovative
Electronic Betty
Her body’s implicated
Her profile’s expurgated

We could chat all day
In a texting way
She told me what she was wearing
She said she liked girls to
And that she played Kazoo
And that she couldn’t stop swearing

So many things we had in common
Chicken Tikka and Johnny Rotton
Got to know her intimately
Even though we’ve never met in reality…

Electronic Betty
Your face is pixelated
Your spelling innovative
Electronic Betty
We virtually mated
I hope we’re not related