Sometimes I wonder if I would have tried to make it to the top
Could I have suceeded
or would I lose all the races you lost
I don't know If I can change
but i'll repeat the phrases I'm taught
and going on pretending
i'm still all the things that I am not.

There are things that I want to forget
except i won't let go
like brian retchless said I write it to forget it all
further down the road
I'm still not anyone that I would want to be
The last pages of my books they read
"He'll be worth more when he's dead"
Hey, thats alright with me

I've been thinking that "the top"
is not the place where I would like to be.
You make it there, get greedy
just to wind up back down on your knees
Start screaming, Please god don't send down that
last catastrophe
Until i've made Millions
and had time to spend it all on me

It doesn't feel like the who I am
is the who I had lost or have missed
I can't even feel or be fooled
I'm not sure I still exist,
I should move to the mountains
to become an existentialist,
then I could decide that nothing is real
and you would cease to exist.

the universe is made of
galaxies are made of
solar systems are made of
planets are made of
elements are made of
molecules are made of
atoms are made of
protons, neutrons, and electrons are made of
Q U I R K S.
...just like my personallity.
Yeah i'm made up of the universe and the universe is made up of me