Jonathan Coulton - "Skullcrusher Mountain" |
Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain I hope that you've enjoyed your stay so far I see you've met my assistant Scarface His appearance is quite disturbing But I assure you he's harmless enough He's a sweetheart, calls me master And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me I'm so into you But I'm way too smart for you Even my henchmen think I'm crazy I'm not surprised that you agree If you could find some way to be A little bit less afraid of me You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head Say I shouldn't kill you yet I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you But I get the feeling that you don't like it What's with all the screaming? You like monkeys, you like ponies Maybe you don't like monsters so much Maybe I used too many monkeys Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? I'm so into you But I'm way too smart for you Even my henchmen think I'm crazy I'm not surprised that you agree If you could find some way to be A little bit less afraid of me You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head Say I shouldn't kill you yet Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere And all the fools who live their foolish lives may find it quite explosive But it won't mean half as much to me if I don't have you here You know it isn't easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain Maybe you could cut me just a little slack Would it kill you to be civil? I've been patient, I've been gracious And this mountain is covered with wolves Hear them howling, my hungry children Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you I'm so into you But I'm way too smart for you Even my henchmen think I'm crazy I'm not surprised that you agree If you could find some way to be A little bit less afraid of me You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head Say I shouldn't kill you yet I shouldn't kill you yet I shouldn't kill you yet |