Here’s to all the bald-headed people,
Thinking that love has passed them by,
Don’t give up until you, finance a hair transplant,
The women will come and say oh-hi!

Here’s to Pamela Anderson,
Thinking that d-cups won’t get her by,
Don’t give up until you, inflate two air cushions,
Men bounce-back when they say “Hi”.

Well I’m on my way, yes I’m back to stay, yes I’m on my way back home...

Here’s to Howard Stern and Robin,
Thinking that Michael Jackson lied,
Don’t give up until you, offer a midget wrestler,
He’ll take the bait and Mesereau will cry!